We search for solutions to our problems. Rape and sexual abuse of Women being a major cause of concern that’s giving sleepless nights to men on top (pun unintended). Infinite reels of newspapers, endless hours of national and international debates and countless marches and protests have propounded a new sense of urgency to take action. Our grandfathers seated in the thrones of Law are making amends and slating new levels of punishment or should I say new levels of managing the lawless.

We the people, wait with bated breaths to see how this tamasha pans out. With the media poking and provoking, the lawmakers debating, writing and re-writing and the law enforcement showing muscle to victims and accused alike, we are waiting to see how these changes may or may not affect our lives.

Humans are hard to handle. Their choices and behaviour being unpredictable and volatile, you never know the situation you are going to be in. News-makers will find a new muse as quickly as a child with attention deficit let free in a toy store. Lawmakers will go through the rigours of following one procedure to another and pass the baton to the law enforcement to eventually mete out justice to the wronged. And the law enforcers will chomp on their vada pavs with a hot cuppa chai listening to problems of people in distress with the nonchalance of a well-fed Persian cat.

The accused will find a loophole in the system or they may hire lawyers who will do so. They’ll make friends with the ministers who never really cared of their existence or they’ll pass a box of “mithai” to the investigating officer. Bottom line is that there will be ways to escape. Always, we thrive on this ray of hope in this country.

So, the question is – Are there any fool proof methods to ensure the safety of Women?

You can twist laws of the constitution but you can’t twist laws of Science. If we could treat these acts of aggression and regression as maladies of Society that need to be solved before it is too late, maybe just maybe, we can protect our children from this plague.

Idea #1 :

Anti-rape Vaccination

This is a vaccine given to all boys in the age of 10-12 before they hit puberty. Vaccination directly attacks those genes responsible for blinding men who are in a fit of rage and makes them flaccid if they try to fornicate with a woman forcefully.

Idea # 2 :

Naarape Pills

These pills are to be ingested orally and are a personal choice. Lifelong prescription is suggested, one pill per week. They prevent the very thought of rape in a person’s head. To be prescribed to boys who are 15 and above.

Idea #3 :

Rape Detector

This is handy equipment for the law enforcers to detect absconding rapists. Anyone who has committed rape within the span of 72 hours can be found using this equipment. There are special sensors which identify a heightened sense of guilt and hormones.

Idea #4 :

Lady Taser

Designed for self-defence of women, each Taser can disseminate a healthy electric shock to the assailant by a mere touch of a button. It is lightweight and portable. The assailant is rendered immobile for at least 10 mins once shock has been administered. It does not cause any irreversible damage.

Just imagine a world free of rapists and abusers where women can walk the streets with their head held high and beauty to swear by; a world in which they don’t have to be shy of their beauty or body; a world in which a man can feel proud to be man without exploiting women for an ego massage.

If we cannot fight for a world with better morals let’s create a world with better gadgets. A very Happy Women’s Day to one and all!

Touché.